Worth it…?

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This is not workout or day to day related so I apologize in advance for that and if this isn’t your cup of tea I understand. Also this is going to be pretty short so!

When do you draw the line when someone asks something of you? What is a typical normal response you give? Say you haven’t spoken to the person in weeks/months and out of the blue they strike up a conversation, for a few days you talk as if everything is normal and the friendship seems to have never dropped off…until their request is made. (Monetary, vehicle, place to crash etc.)

I struggle with a bleeding heart and even if I know in the long run it’ll screw me over I will gladly hand over the thing someone asks of me if I know it’ll make them happy/stabilize their situation. I will apologize even if I know for a fact and have been told many times that I am not the one in the wrong.

I will allow people who have no right or any desire even to be allowed back into my life and view/judge at their leisure. Of course nine times out of ten I am then left with nothing….communication drops and the feeling of being used and tossed aside sits on a nice mountain of guilt.

I don’t ever want to be accused of being selfish and uppity, I like to think that what you throw my way you get back tenfold be that kindness or anger/bad attitude.

When is enough enough? In a lot of situations I am made out to be the bad guy without a chance to even defend myself, extracting myself from stressful situations means that I’m starting drama and acting childish? But what about my mental and physical health? Why is it alright for someone to make me upset, talk to everyone else but me about said situation and then run for backup when I remove them from my life/myself from the problem.

If I don’t automatically hand something over, why am I then jealous and wishing ill on that person and their family? Does my life/family not matter? Why should it not be taken into consideration since I am the one on the receiving end of the request. I understand that it can take someone a lot of time and steal mindedness before getting up the courage to ask for ANYTHING, but just because you ask doesn’t mean that someone can make it happen.

I hate passive aggressive people, they drive me up the wall, I’d rather you be blunt and say it straight to my face instead of recruit people to bring back the twisted version of events and shame me for something I couldn’t possible know about/help out with.

But maybe in those instances when I’m the one trying to take a step back and not have an ungodly melt down that is what I’m doing? Even so wouldn’t that be better than actually inciting an argument/fight?

A lot of times I feel like people refuse to hear someone else’s side of the story because they know the person who came to them was in the wrong. This is all very left field and not my usual blog style but recent life discussions have prompted this….when do you draw a line? When is it okay to stand up for yourself?

Just because someone is family or a really close friend is it alright for them to take advantage of you or the situation and sway things their way? Pushing back isn’t always the best course of action and I can attest to that. But allowing someone to walk all over me/my family is NEVER the right way to go either. How do I assert myself without coming off as a crazy woman? Is that even a thing? I will always be younger, and less knowledgeable about EVERYTHING. Is age a decent excuse to take someones side in an argument?

I have a horrible tendency to fixate on things well after they have already happened. (Yikes) My perspective shifted very much after I had my son, I question if some people are even worth all the trouble they bring to be involved in our life, I also question if the people who defend their poor behavior are also welcome and why I allow them to hang around.

The answer is usually no. But then I am still missing out aren’t I? Still on the losing side….I guess it feels slightly better to get this off of my chest, but I’m still not sure how to deal with these things moving forward, maybe the best approach is a break from these people and situations, it certainly wouldn’t hurt my mental state as far as I’m concerned…

~Drace~

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